Monday, October 11, 2010

Sapporo Ichiban Noodles

Category: Wheat Food
Sub-Category: Noodles
Colour: Beige-White, but Brown after flavour packet is added

Well, it's been just over a week since my last post. My apologies, stuff happened and I just plain didn't feel like posting anything. Sorries. Anywhoo, this post is all about Sapporo Ichiban noodles. Love 'em, they're delicious and they're one of my staple semi-healthy to healthy snack/meal foods. Curious what the others are? (No you say, but I tell you anyway) They're chips and salsa, cereal, toast, and hummus and pita. Good times with tasty food. Anyways, here's a picture of the noodles:

So good, so tasty. I'll now tell you the preparation procedure for cooking these noodles properly (my way properly): First, pour 1 cup of water into a pan and set it under high heat. Wait for it to come to a boil, then add the noodles. When the noodles soften, stir them with a fork or something akin to a fork (spork?). Keep stirring and breaking them apart now and again until they're tender-ish and the water is close to gone. Then add the flavour packed and mix together. Lastly, when the water is just about all gone, add the dried seaweed bits (yes it comes with dried seaweed bits!). Mix that up and pour it into a bowl or whatever you want to eat it out of. I honestly couldn't care less. Then eat it! It's delicious! :D

You're very welcome for all that useless information which is mostly on the back of the package. I'm sure it was well received. Now here are a couple of Sapporo Ichiban ads:

So Japanese. But that's how noodle ads should be done, dammit! Anyways, I can't really get enough of these noodles and I might even make myself some after I finish writing this post. Yum. You should try 'em, they're good.

Final Score: 9.5/10

Okay, so... lethality. These are noodles. Let's be honest, they're a delicious snackish food. The worst you could do is feed them to someone who's allergic to wheat, causing a little bit of trouble and discomfort most likely. So... yeah.

Lethality: 0.1/10

Sorry it's been like 8 days since the last post. But it's not like I make money on this. I do what I can/feel like. Enjoy it for what it is.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Cat Vomit

Warning: Pretty gross... Don't read this if you have a really weak stomach.

Category: Vomit
Associated Animal: Cat
Number of Varieties: At least four

Well, there was inspiration for this topic, you'll be glad to know. I woke up this morning to find out that my cat had vomited on the kitchen floor and a couple sections of the stairs. This was pretty watery vomit (foamy but clear), so it wasn't so bad, and I was glad that it wasn't worse than it was. Now this watery vomit is new to me, so that's why I say there are at least four kinds of cat vomit. There's the all too common hairball, which is less vomit and more hair coughed up from being licked up and swallowed during the cat's "baths" (vomit #1). Here's a picture of a hairball:

That one is the least disgusting. I won't show you pictures of the other ones, you can just imagine them.

Vomit #2 is chunky vomit, which is (at least for my cat) somewhere between green and brown (it varies) and has chunks in it, surprisingly enough. Vomit #3 is regular vomit, which is fairly liquidy and viscous. It looks like normal vomit, more or less, except probably a deeper green or brown. But I suppose it depends on what the cat is eating. Vomit #4, which is newly discovered (for me anyways), is watery vomit. I'm sure cat vomit enthusiasts could have a heated debate over whether or not it constitutes actual vomit, but I'm not going to get into that...

There are probably other variations and sub-types of cat vomit, but these are the main kinds so far as I'm concerned. Here's a video of some cats vomiting! To intense classical music!

The song is "Requiem for a Dream", by the way. Anyways, as amazing as this video is, I must say that I'm not a huge fan of cat vomit. Especially when I have to clean it up. It's messy and disgusting, and the damn cats just walk away when they're done vomiting, so you know they don't give a rat's ass. Although hairballs are almost sort of cool and not that bad. But on the whole, not a fun thing.

Final Score: 1.5/10

As for the lethality of cat vomit, it wouldn't do much damage conventionally. Although I'm sure you could make somebody vomit pretty dang hard if you covered them in it or something, which would be really unpleasant. And I bet there's a lot of nasty bacteria and stuff in cat vomit from their stomachs that could get someone pretty sick if you forced them to eat it... though I'm not sure it could kill you. It would be really disgusting though.

Lethality: 3/10

P.S.: I told you this one would be more exciting than cardboard boxes! Maybe not in the way you would have liked... Oh well. If you didn't like this one, maybe you'll get lucky with the next.