Thursday, September 23, 2010


Category: Vegetable
Colour: Usually red, with some varieties being orange and yellow, and sometimes green (unripe?)
Size: Varies depending on variety

Alright, so today's topic is Tomatoes. It's the very first topic! We've officially passed the idea stage of this blog! Hooray for overcoming laziness! Now for a glorious visual to accompany the text:

Ah, delicious. Well, hopefully you've noticed that's not your average run-of-the-mill tomato. That one's enormous, has teeth, and appears to be kidnapping a woman and wreaking destruction. But you should know what a tomato looks like, and if you don't: Shame on you. (This will be a common occurrence by the way. The pictures, not the killer tomatoes. Ah, technology today; how I love you so.)

I personally love tomatoes. I'm not a huge fan of eating them straight (except for possibly cherry tomatoes), but I do love me some ketchup or tomato sauce. Honestly: Pasta wouldn't be the same without tomato sauce, and potatoes wouldn't be the same without ketchup. And to be fair, tomatoes make a pretty good ingredient in salad. So it's got some good food purposes.

They're also fun to throw at people, and though I haven't done so myself, I can say that a lot of latinos definitely have. I believe they actually have some event in Spain that is basically an entire day devoted to wasting tomatoes by throwing them at people. Essentially just a massive food fight. "La Tomatina", it's called. Here's a video:

So yeah, tomatoes are great as food (though I've met a number of people who don't like them), and also great fun to mash in people's faces with malicious (or not so malicious) intent. My conclusion is that they're a pretty damn good staple food in our society, and I don't want to see them go. What would we put on our french fries? Chocolate sauce? Horseradish? Bat guano? I'd rather stick with ketchup. Especially over the bat guano.

Final Score: 8.5/10

And now for the lethality portion of the topic! Unfortunately, tomatoes aren't a particularly violent item. You kind of just eat them. Or throw them at people. But it's not like they're painful if you get hit with them or anything. Unless they're rocks painted like tomatoes or something, but that doesn't count.

So I don't know. Short of drowning somebody in tomato juice, I can't really think of a decent way to make tomatoes lethal. Except maybe genetically mutating them to be like that tomato up there (see picture). But again, against the rules. They can't be unnaturally or drastically altered, or they don't count. So I'm afraid we're ending up with a pretty low score on this one.

Lethality: 0.3/10

So, that's your first taste of the blog! Let me know what you think by leaving a comment, and feel free to become a follower. I actually think this is a decent idea for a blog, correct me if I'm wrong. I may also make topics from your ideas if you'd like to post them in the comments section. Hope you enjoyed it, and there'll be more topics to come!

No comments:

Post a Comment